Our Insecure Longnose
by Raccoonwolf
Summary: Usopp is a coward, possibly even more when it comes to love. SanUso
1. Our Insecure Longnose

Usopp supposed he'd never be able to tell Sanji how he felt.

Oh, there was _no way_ that Sanji would like him back, and if his one-sided love would come out, everything would become awkward between the two of them. There would be no "our longnose" or sitting side by side or hands on shoulders, because anything like that would remind of the _thing_ that was between them.

Why couldn't it have just stayed a strong love between friends? Why did it have to become tangled and sticky and sweet as hell, a mess wrapped around Usopp's heart that caused it to pump hot blood to his face when they talked or when Sanji slapped his back in a brotherly manner, preventing him from acting normal around his favourite person? He could never feel honest when being with Sanji again, and this was a different feeling than when he told made-up stories of his marvelous adventures. It wasn't because he chose to lie, it was because he had to hide the truth. Stupid heart.

Maybe he could tell him if they found One Piece. In the middle of the celebration, all the racket... No, it would completely ruin the happy moment. Or when they were se- separated, he guessed they would go all their own ways afterwards, since it wasn't like they could just... It wasn't how things worked.. Maybe he'd tell just when their ways were going to part...

But then that would be Sanji's last memory of him. Usopp who cowardly confessed at the moment when he knew he wouldn't have to face the consequences, Usopp who'd been stealing his kindness all this time. Usopp who'd forced his disgusting, male love on Sanji who loved women over anything.

No, there was no moment for telling it. No gap to stuff his unwanted feelings into to never be seen again, no way to say aloud he loved the cook without destroying everything.

"You okay, Usopp?"

Sanji had silently walked to him when he was sitting in the rear of Thousand Sunny, his thoughts running in dreary circles. Usopp drew a quick breath, startled, and turned around.

"Y-yeah, I'm just... planning new weapons, y'know. You can count on the brave warrior of the seas anytime!" His grin may have been weak, but it was a smile, and he was so miserable the tangle on his heart didn't show signs of making him blush.

"If you say so", the cook said in disbelief, sighing with tobacco smoke. "It's time for lunch, come on. You should've heard when I shouted."

Well, here came the red cheeks again when Sanji pulled him along by his shoulders. The others would probably notice it, or at least Robin if no one else.

Usopp was too tired to care, and also a little happy about the way the swirlybrowed cook thought and worried about him.

* * *

There is a small possibility of this continuing, in case I get an idea for Sanji's pov or how this might proceed in general. SanUso is my OTP, as in actual ONE true pairing (the only pairing I seriously ship), and I'd really like to try writing a multi-chapter story for once.


	2. Food for men

The sound of a violin and Brook's voice filled the sunset on the deck of the Thousand Sunny. Seagulls flew above and waves rippled against the rocks and the ship's planks. The atmosphere was serene and romantic, and perfect to piss Sanji off.

"Can you please _not _sing love songs when both the ladies are gone and will be for a whole day more?" The cook whined, leaning sluggishly against the railing. The two of them, along with Luffy, Franky and Zoro, had left to look for a town to buy supplies from around midday, and a few hours ago they had informed the ship watchers via a dendenmushi that they'd spend the night in the town and continue shopping the next day.

"Yohoho! Sanji-san, love is such an intriguing and common matter that music is full of it. And I happen to be in the mood for a certain composer's pieces. But do feel free to give recommendations." Sanji barely managed to open his mouth before the tall skeleton hopped away, continuing from where he'd left, with lyrics something like _"Without you I'm like an afro on fire, couldn't you come fix my broken tire?"_

"C'mon, Sanji, don't tragic love stories fit the mood perfectly?" Usopp commented from the mast bench he was droopily lying on.

"What, are you remembering the girl from your home village or something?" asked Sanji, lost in thought.

"No! Kaya's a dear friend. I meant you", the sharpshooter answered, distracted, and after noticing the awkwardness of the silence that followed - "Robin and Nami, idiot. I suppose Captain Usopp's great joke was too complicated for you!" He let out an overly rakish laugh.

Maybe Usopp really was thinking about the girl, and embarrassed about it, at least that could be concluded from the awkwardness of his reply. Sanji felt a sort of warm lump of sweet and sour in his stomach, looking at the longnosed liar who still hadn't mended his ways.

"I suppose I have to make the evening snack even for you guys or you'll start complaining", he grunted, and went into the kitchen. Going indoors also had the benefit of not having to listen to the syrupy songs Brook was in the mood for.

"Hey, Sanji", Chopper greeted from the infirmary where he was reading a book, door open.

"Hi. I'm making sandwiches, so stop eating candy. It'll ruin your appetite." The reindeer quickly hid something behind his back.

After a while of silence filled with the calming sounds of the kitchen - the humming of the fridge, the ceiling's lamps slowly flicking on, rustling wrappings and the occasional turning of a page in the next room - Chopper spoke again.

"Sanji. Do you think Usopp is okay? He's been looking listless lately."

The cook looked up at the doctor and raised his eyebrow (and then the other one, remembering he'd recently changed his hairstyle).

"Well, he looked kinda limp just now. Isn't it the heat?" The current island's climate was warm to say the least.

"It's been going on for a while", Chopper said, shrugging. "Well, it's probably nothing. I'm just keeping an eye on everyone so that no one will be surprised by a disease!"

"Good work, doctor", Sanji smirked and resumed cutting the bread while the antlerhead tried to hide his delight. Today's snack would contain lots of vitamins and some treats, he decided. It was also his job to keep the crew healthy and satisfied, after all.

Usopp hadn't moved an inch when Sanji brought the food outside with Chopped excited on his heels. Brook had jumped around for the sniper's part too, and was currently standing on the roof of the crow's nest.

"Oi! Food's ready", Sanji called and walked down to the grass deck, sitting down next to the longnose. The meal was noisy as ever, even when some of the troublemakers were away, with Brook humming into his smoothie and Chopper getting excited over the mango pieces in his sandwich. Usopp laughed with them too, though still a bit tamely, Sanji noted, relieved.

"You were taking requests, right, Brook?" he slipped into the conversation after the meal. He'd noticed that when the skeleton wasn't playing anything, he might actually listen to one's suggestions, and a certain song he would play anytime.

"Yes. Do you have something in mind?" he replied, cleaning his teeth with a napkin.

"How about ending the evening with Binks' Sake? It'll leave a less bitter feeling than love song when the lovely ladies are away from us." He allowed himself some swooning over the thought of the crew's women. A song sung together was bound to make the longnose cheer up too, and he really ought to; it would be unforgivable to feel bad after a ladies'-quality meal, after all.

"Why, of course!" the skeleton cried eagerly and picked up his violin. Chopper was ready to dance right away, and Sanji grabbed him and the sniper who'd tried to slink away by the shoulders.

"No leaving before the party's over, Nosepp!" he said, and they sung and danced a prolonged version of the pirate rhapsody, during which Usopp seemed to sort of give up on worrying since the others didn't allow it, and start enjoying the racket. He gripped the back of Sanji's shirt tightly, and Sanji felt something fluffy and bubbly pulling up the corners of his mouth in a burst of laughter.

Really, this kind of attention was meant to be reserved for the ladies. But well, one special exception wasn't a big deal, and it wasn't like this would be repeated. Even if it was kind of alright.


	3. Dirty Kitchen Rag

Usopp and Brook hadn't come up to the kitchen for the evening tea, and Sanji was in a shitty mood; it was just the way their crew worked that on a day when he'd completed a new, wonderful dish, someone would miss the meal. Two pieces of the delicious salty pie he'd been entertaining the idea of for more than a year lay neglected on the table. He'd saved them from Luffy, who would have eaten everyone's share if he could've, but it'd be against his policies to take food to the people who'd been too lazy to come to the kitchen when everybody was supposed to gather to enjoy the tea together.

Still, knowing the two skippers, they'd probably be spacing off somewhere, having forgotten that time could move on; they weren't the type to miss a chance to eat or spend time with people, and they'd be disappointed as hell when they returned from their dream-worlds. Sighing deep, the cook gathered a smaller version of the evening snack on a tray and went to look for the musician and the sniper.

Finding Brook was easy as usual, since he rarely was silent. He was sitting by the rear mast, humming vaguely, violin on the floor but the bow still in his right hand.

"Oi, Brook! You missed the tea", Sanji called. The skeleton's emotionless face somehow conveyed startlement when he came back from his daydreams.

"Ah, Sanji-san! ...It seems I dozed off for a while." Judging from his voice, his dream had been closer to a nightmare. Brook shook his head, making the dial clatter inside his skull. "Excuse me for not showing up. That was rude of me."

"Just rememer to eat from now on. If that even affects your health. Here." Sanji handed Brook the pie and a mug of tea and left him to recover from whatever bad dreams he'd been having. Hopefully the musician wouldn't develop a habit of humming in his sleep. He headed for Usopp's workroom, smirking at Brook's shouts of "delicious!" from behind.

Usopp was sleeping too, with an idiotic smile on his dirty face. He'd been repairing his weapons and was gripping his trusted slingshot's handle tight. Sanji smiled at his idiotic sleeping position and the dark circles around his eyes; the liar was the only Strawhat from whom one could see what a hard week they'd once again had (except for Chopper, whose muscles were sore, and Nami-swan, but she was always lovely and graceful). He left the tea and food on the table and snuck out quietly.

Still, Usopp really had been a bit listless lately, as Chopper had noted, and it hadn't ended when they'd sailed on from the bad news of an island they'd last been on. Sanji couldn't help paying attention to it anymore, and he felt like he ought to do something, but couldn't pinpoint the cause for the sharpshooter's bad mood. He'd tried making Usopp's favourite dishes and asking what was wrong, but the longnose would just look at him weirdly, as if trying to not be happy.

A thought had been bothering Sanji for a long time, stuck in his head like a stubborn coffee stain line on a cup, not necessarily bad, but nevertheless making the cup different from a new one, and never coming off.

What if he was in love with Usopp?

He had no idea where the idea had come from; it seemed to have slowly spread into his mind until he somehow just knew it was there. There was no moment of realization or denial that he remembered. He just thought he might like the longnose.

But that was the problem: he might. Sanji couldn't, surely and straight away, say that he loved Usopp. What he felt was very much different from what he felt for the lovely ladies, and he wasn't quite sure it was different from a very strong friendship, but sometimes he would, while washing the dishes or waiting for water to boil, end up imagining things like kissing the sniper. And this did nothing to his confusion, since when he was with Usopp, he could be quite comfortable and relaxed, nothing like the electric current that women seemed to cause inside him.

Maybe the sniper had somehow noticed it from his behaviour and was therefore trying to avoid him. Or maybe he was just planning a new project that didn't go well, and besides, they _had_ had a rough week. This was making him think too much.

Oh, screw it. If you don't try, you'll never know. They were good friends, so it wasn't probable that their relationship would be ruined even if the love was actually one-sided or if they dated and it would go wrong. For now, he allowed himself to think that he was in love with the longnose


	4. Swimming in Coffee

Robin knew.

She knew about Usopp's feelings for Sanji, and Usopp could feel her stare on his back. She kept an eye on and analyzed everything that happened on the ship, and this couldn't have escaped her keen eyes. It felt like every time Usopp took a glance at the woman, she would smile back at him knowingly.

It wasn't fair. She was so clever and confident, yet didn't put those qualities to use at all. If Usopp was like her… But there she sat, chuckling at everything and drinking ice cream coffee, without any worries of her own.

Except of course her past that was nothing but worry and pain, and stuff. Usopp shook his head. He should slow his thoughts down a bit. Robin hadn't done anything, he just worried she might. What if she told Sanji about it? She was so difficult to understand; he didn't have a clue about what was going on inside her head.

This was clearly the time for a spying mission. Just to make sure. Y'know, though she was wise, she might do something Usopp didn't want her to, with all the times she spoke with Sanji every day. (Or rather, Sanji spoke to her and brought her snacks.)

Robin was in the aquarium room, reading some book as usual. It was a thick one with dark green covers, he saw, peeking from behind the corner, but he didn't dare look long enough to read the title. He was in bigger danger of being discovered peeking from behind the corner than an average person, because of his nose. And of course his dazzling appearance that drew looks like sugar bees; the great Captain Usopp certainly had charisma! Oh, if he _really _wanted to, he could get _anyone_ to…

"Hello, Usopp", Robin said with smile in her voice. She sounded like an evil enchanter from some fairy tale.

Usopp's heart stumbled for a few beats, but he managed to calm it down and let out a nervous laugh. "Yo, Robin! I was just.. What are you reading?" He stepped out from his hiding place and walked up to her.

She laughed with him, and turned the book so Usopp could see the cover that said "The Lost Treasures of Grand Line"

"You should practice sneaking a bit more. If I was an enemy you were spying, I could've caught you and tortured the plans and whereabouts of your crew out of you", she said with a sweet smile.

"OI!" He started, but his confused heart gave up with the deepest of sighs. He felt just empty and tired (and a little awkward standing there). "…Oh, never mind. You're not going to stop that, are you."

"I don't think I am." Robin's smile seemed to hide some deeper satisfaction at what Usopp had said than was apparent in her general "you're amusing" -smirk. "Sit down. I've been meaning to ask you about the island you spent your two years on. It sounds interesting."

And there he was, explaining about giant, man-eating plants and insects and who-knows-whats to the person he'd meant to be spying on, and okay, it was nice. Usopp had almost forgotten how calming it could be to spend time with Robin; there was no playing around with Luffy and Chopper, or planning new, cool ways to blow stuff up with Franky, or any of the racket that he usually soaked in, just words painting pictures in the air. Robin occasionally asked him for details, offered some of her information about various things, and laughed in disbelief when he lied. It was a soft afternoon, upholstered in sound-dimming velvet. And though it wasn't quite the world he wanted to live in, it was good once in a while.

When he'd gotten to telling about Hercules, a difficult task because he wanted to be able to describe both his wackiness and good sides equally, there was a knock on the door and Sanji waltzed in with a tray of cake and coffee.

"Good afternoon, Robin-chwan!" he closed the door with a swirl of his leg. "And Usopp." he added, noticing the longnose behind her. The cook's smile lost the blind adoration he had for ladies when he turned to Usopp, but didn't quite disappear. Usopp felt his face mirroring it, and kicked himself internally. It would be weird if his smile was too bright when it was directed at Sanji. Maybe. He didn't know anymore.

Sanji poured coffee for Robin, lost in thought with a shadow on his forehead, and then sighed, as if making an unpleasant decision. "Okay, you'll get coffee too, since you're with Robin-chan. Here" he handed Usopp the other cup from the tray, probably meant for Nami, and poured it full.

"Thanks!" Usopp said in a vague, formless sort of voice. He really could act pretty normal around Sanji when he tried, and even feel normal sometimes, but not now. It felt as if the curlbrow had jumped from behind a tree in the middle of a deep forest with his tray of coffee.

"Usopp was telling me about his two years, just now. Would you like to join us, Sanji?" Robin smiled her usual, amused smile at the idiot cook.

"Yes, Robin-chwan!" Sanji twirled 720 degrees on the tip of his foot at the thought of spending time with Robin (and Usopp, but Usopp could never have imagined that). "But I need to make more coffee, since I haven't taken any to Nami-swan yet. I might come back later." And with that, he left, leaving behind the two coffee pots and orange cakes he'd had on his tray.

He left a flimsy sort of silence hanging in the air as he closed the door. Usopp sipped his coffee. It was too bitter and dilute for his taste, probably made according to Nami's preferences, and he grimaced a bit before gaining control of his face again.

"Sanji makes different coffee for everyone", Robin said, probably laughing at Usopp's face, but of course, you couldn't really tell with her unreadable smile. "Do you want to mix a bit of mine in there? That should even it out."

"Yeah, thanks", Usopp said, and poured a bit of Robin's refill into his cup. It was a small amount, but the drink became suitably strong right away. How strong _was_ this woman's coffee exactly? The silence melted into a more pleasant one. A small, colorful fish swam right by Usopp, pressed against the glass. The dominant colors were yellow and blue, and if he squinted, obscuring his vision, it looked like there were yellow splotches moving in the water. The taste of the orange cake suited the fish well, but then it started reminding him of how awkward he'd been, talking to Sanji just now, and he flushed it down with dark coffee.

"I'm not going to tell him", Robin said, and now her smile was gone.

"What? Am I not supposed to mix coffee like this, or something?" Usopp asked, confused. Sanji wasn't _quite_ so serious about his food that you would've needed to worry about displaying your bad taste in front of him. He was the cook of Luffy's ship, after all. He might not fool around as much as his captain, but he certainly didn't take things too seriously. He was fun, even when pissed off about people eating his supplies.

"About your feelings", she showed her smile again, but kept the serious attitude. It seemed like she'd decided to say something about it.

"Oh." Usopp's heart did weird things below his throat.

"I'm not going to give you a push in any direction, whether you want or fear it. You'll have to gather your courage by yourself if you want something to happen. I'll just keep watching." During the last sentence, the usual smile returned to her face, but Usopp felt sort of hollow inside. Like someone had punched a hole in his stomach, except without any pain or violence; just the reality. He leaned against Robin's shoulder, tired of everything.

"Sorry. You won't have anything interesting to see", he muttered half-heartedly.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that", she laughed back.

And like wanting to prove her words true, the aquarium door opened again and Sanji stepped in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ROBIN-CHAN, YOU NATURAL AFRO-HEAD?


	5. White Noise

Be ye warned, this is the last chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews; there are few compliments that have mattered more to me than someone commenting on what I've written, after reading it out of their own free will. I've made everyone wait so long for so little; I apologize for that. I think I've said the best amount I can in this story; hopefully you can enjoy it to some degree.

* * *

Usopp returned to reality from an embarrassingly romantic dream, and found that he'd dozed off while repairing his weapons. And just when Sanji had been about to- -no, he wasn't remembering the dream. The task at hand was still incomplete. Picking up the new cord he'd been meaning to tie to his slingshot's cleaned handle, the sniper almost knocked over a cup that hadn't been on his table when he'd fallen asleep.

It was probably pretty late already, and Sanji had brought tea down for Usopp. The thought of the cook seeing him deep inside a fluffy and rose-colored dream when he was supposed to be working was kind of embarrassing, but at the same time the longnose was amazed that he hadn't been angrily woken up. Except for the days when someone was so focused on their current project they only remembered to breathe once in a while, Sanji usually insisted that everyone eat together or come get their food from the kitchen. Usopp felt something warm spreading under his ribs.

...No, he wasn't going to think about what if Sanji liked him back, either. There was no way that could be true, and wallowing in dreams was just going to make him miserable. It wasn't even because he thought he had any chance; the fantasies just came to him so naturally, they were hard to stop. Lying as a habit had some bad sides too.

The dream had been so stupid, too. Prince Usopp on a white horse, saving Sanji's ass, and a kiss at the end; he probably should try to learn more about originality in storytelling. And keeping the characters in-character. It was such a horrible feeling waking up, disappointment mixed with shame about his cheesy imagination. And the worst thing was that he really wished his dreams could be true.

The tea in the cup was already cold and tasted bitter, but he chugged it down, grimacing. It was his fault for falling asleep, after all - and he felt a bit tough when he drank something so bad-tasting. Then he finished the little work he had left, moved things about on his table so it looked a bit cleaner, and took the cup and stood up, stretching and yawning. His body eagerly took the chance to remind him of the hours he'd been sitting in the same position.

It was even later than Usopp had thought; coming from the energy room into the corridor behind the aquarium, he saw the black-blue night sky with a bright moon in the middle. Everyone was asleep; It was queerly calming to walk quietly on the barely noticeably creaking planks of the narrow passage, and then on damp grass. The cool night-air on the deck cleansed his lungs and hair and brought life back into his heavy eyelids and the cheeks he'd forgotten he had.

The kitchen's peaceful, humming silence pressed against his skin when he closed the door behind. The warmth felt heavenly after the pinching cold outside air, and sleepiness swept over Usopp. He put the mug on the counter, rubbing his eyes, and sat onto the bar bench, just to enjoy the calmness for a moment. Even a brave warrior of the sea like himself needed a moment of calm once in a big while.

He slid down into a comfortable slouch. It would be such a struggle to start moving and go out into the numbing cold air. If only he could just sleep here, by the counter in the quiet, distant darkness, without having to listen to anyone's loud breathing. On sleepless nights, Usopp would always be scared of the moments when Franky's rusty-sounding snore quieted down so much he couldn't tell whether air was still moving in and out of his lungs.

Wait.

There _was someone breathing in the room._

Usopp froze. Had someone snuck into their ship? The breathing came from the kitchen side of the counter, close to the floor, so he hadn't noticed it before. Slowly, taking care to not let the leather of the bench squeak and to not step on a creaky plank by the corner, he crouched down and listened harder.

The someone let out a very sensible, silent snore, and moaned slightly in their sleep.

It was Sanji. Geh, of course. Who else would sleep in the kitchen? A stowaway would go for a more hidden and comfortable place. Usopp took such a deep breath, it was basically a sigh.

His eyes were getting used to the dark. Sanji had, for some reason, taken his blanket with him and purposefully settled to sleep in a sitting position, leaning against the counter. Maybe he'd planned something more time-consuming for breakfast and was going to wake up before dawn. Or maybe he, too, had found the kitchen's nightly peace irresistible and wanted to stay.

Honestly, Usopp didn't want to care anymore. He was a pirate, goddamn it, uncertainty and low self esteem didn't fit the job description. And waiting for something wasn't brave.

No, no, no. All his reasonable calculations about his potential in love rushed back. Sanji had never liked men; he only had everything to lose; it just wasn't likely that the very person he'd fallen in love with would like him back, of all the people in the world. Yet in the end, he was tired, physically and mentally, and didn't want to leave the magically strong peace of the room behind him. It would mean braving the freezing-cold wind of the sea and listening to Luffy's loud sleeptalking and the barrel-echoed snoring of Franky. Just for this one night, he wanted to stay away from that.

Usopp stepped over the creaky plank, walked over, and after a deep breath, sat down next to the cook. Sanji shifted a little and calmed down again, and Usopp rested his head on his shoulder, somehow finding the most comfortable position he'd ever encountered in his life.

And the silent, unchanging bass chord of the room flooded over the two of them like a lullaby of the sea


End file.
